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The Rollercoaster of Insanity – An Infertility Story

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My OB did an ultrasound and discovered I had, what she thought, two golf ball sized cycts on my left ovary.

Erin’s story, like many, begins when she was trying to conceive.

“Matt & I got married in October 2012. We knew we wanted a family right away so we began trying. I had NO idea what went into trying to get pregnant – woah.

I started tracking my temp in the mornings to pinpoint ovulation and figuring out my cycle cause it was longer than usual. After about a year, I told my OB I hadn’t had my period for a few months but was getting negative pregnancy tests. My OB did an ultrasound and discovered I had, what she thought, two golf ball sized cycts on my left ovary. We decided to do laproscopy surgery to have them removed. However, when she got in there, she found that it was instead, my left fallopian tube had become infected and died.

She removed my left tube.

After a few months, she diagnosed me with PCOS. We were prescribed Clomid to induce ovulation, and I thought it would work immediately because it had for SO many of my friends. Although Clomid was helping me ovulate, we still weren’t getting pregnant. We tried three months on Clomid, all with negative results but just “wonderful” side affects, so we moved onto a fertility clinic. Finding out that I couldn’t conceive naturally, was devastating but I had NO idea even after fertility treatments we still wouldn’t become parents to living children.

I say “living” children because I do consider ourselves parents to our six children we lost to miscarriage.”

It’s been 5 years since Erin was diagnosed with PCOS.

Image supplied with permission from Lucie Caron, see her Instagram here.

YT: Have you found treatment that works for you?

EB: If you’re referring to a “treatment” that has helped my PCOS, I would definitely say a strict diet low in carbs, sugar, and dairy has helped tremendously along with being prescribed Metformin. If you’re referring to a “treatment” to help my infertility, my husband and I have gotten pregnant six times through nine IVF cycles; however, sadly all six have ended in miscarriage.

YT: If PCOS/Infertility was a movie title what would it be and why?

EB: The Rollercoaster of Insanity. Sounds like a horror movie, right?! LOL. Some days, it sure seems like I’m living in one. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results — pretty much my journey through PCOS/infertility with the amount of times we tried IVF, expected different results, but always got the same result. This journey is like an emotional rollercoaster – there can be a lot of highs and then an overwhelmingly amount of lows. But you know what they say, get knocked down seven times, stand up eight.

And she keeps standing up, time and time again. Helping her get up each time is the online community of TTC (trying to conceive women) on social media.

“We went public with our journey in November 2014, right before our first IVF cycle, and it’s the best thing we ever did. The support, love, and prayers we have received from complete strangers blows me away. I have made life long friends from social media – some I’ve met and some I haven’t. It’s been truly wonderful.”

YT: What health mantra do you live by?

EB: ”If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” — I recently got into fitness, for over a year now, and it has really made me so happy. It’s really helped my mood, overall health, and weight. It also is a great outlet for me to help take my mind off things, like infertility/PCOS

YT: What is your best tip for PCOS symptoms?

EB: It’s going to sound cliche, but honestly, watching my diet and what I put into my body has really helped my PCOS. When I did the Whole 30 diet, my PCOS seemed almost non-existent and my periods became regular!!!!!!!

YT: What makes you happy?

EB: Definitely witnessing thousands of TTC women on social media support each other and help each other, without having ever met. So, I guess you could say women supporting women. Life is just plain hard enough as it is, so why make it harder? And also, my dogs! LOL. But no, really, my dogs & chocolate. I’m so extremely thankful to have them with us during this very trying time and “bump” in the road.

We couldn’t agree more. Our dream? Women dog sitting with other women in a room made of chocolate.

“I often refer to my ovaries as “turtle shells” because that’s what PCOS ovaries look like to me. Often times when I go to monitoring appointments for egg retrievals, I’ll say “can I have a picture of my turtle shells?””

 

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