Having being diagnosed with Endometriosis six years ago was a massive relief as I could look into treatment options.
Then the treatments didn’t work.
The pill. No good
The depo. No good
The rod. No good
The surgeries. It grew straight back
Mixing even more hormones with these. Still didn’t work.
Being told I had to make sure I was doing the right amount of exercise. But not too much and that I had to watch my diet as my bones would start to deteriorate with all the hormones.
My iron was low cause I was bleeding heavily every single day.
The trips to the hospital for pain management.
But then I found a doctor who genuinely knew what she was doing and wanted to see me get better. And she did.
She suggested the mirena. This worked. Pain had dropped to a manageable level. Bleeding was once a month for a few days and so light you could bearly tell and she gave we ways to control this.
Then the next stage of life came bolting in out of nowhere. I was married and people around me were having babies. I was getting clucky.
I had always been told my chance of children was low (<5%) and I had accepted this. But there was still a chance and I was torn about trying to take this chance. Everyone around me had this massive expectation of grandchildren, neices, nephews, godchildren etc. But I had to make the decision to have yet another surgery to have the mirena removed and endo removed again. It was not only this but going back to the excruciating pain, heavy bleeding and everything else that comes with it. And this is where I was having the argument with myself all day long. I hadn’t spoken to my husband about it cause I have no idea how I would bring it up. He has been there though every doctors appointment, hospital trip, diagnosis and surgery. He very much wouldn’t want me to put myself at any risk and knowing the pain it will cause me and watching me go through it all again would break his heart.
So here I sit struggling over the thought process while I get to help plan my sister in laws baby shower. And be asked nearly every week when it will be me.